Be Careful What You Wish For

20 Jul

Cause you just might get it.

Hey!  How are you?  Been a while…  Strangely – I usually use this blog as an excuse not to write.  But amazingly – I’ve been writing.  Maybe I felt the fire under my tail and for whatever reason – I put my nose down and have been marginally successful at getting words to page.

I was feeling more focused because my “selling agreement” with my agency was coming to a close.  We had interest from two different mini-majors – but I think there was some argument about budget.  My attached star was thinking of a higher number than the studio and neither the twain shall meet.

So the deal died a nice death – and the property returns to me.

But- and its a big but – there is the possibility of my film fitting into a 3 picture slate with a large studio you would have heard of.  And there is also the possibility of me directing again.

So that’s good.  But it just means more waiting.  Which is typical.  Its been 6 years since I finished the script – 4 years since we were greenlit and fell apart – and it just keeps going.

Which brings me to this post:

You know how you always complain – Oh if only I had more time.  Then I could write.  If only I didn’t have this silly day job – then I could really bang out this script….

Be careful what you wish for…

I’ve been a freelance producer/director for 20 years.  Worked for some clients – like the Discovery Channel – for about 10 of those years off and on.  After the movie fell apart 4 years ago – I took my very first full-time job.  Salary and benefits and 401K.  Didn’t know anything about that world.  Suddenly – I was going to do what I’ve always done – produce and direct – but from a desk.

One that I would sit in everyday.

Really took some getting used to.  As a freelancer – you have two modes:  working and looking for work.  After a while, work finds you and so you work – and then play.  I like that life.  I was used to that life.

Life at a desk was different.

When we were shooting – and we shot a lot – it was awesome.  I spent a year shooting in China.  A bit more in Australia.  Even shot in London.  And then a ton in LA.  With minor celebrities.

But when we weren’t shooting… Ugh.  I think I’ve seen the internet in its entirety.  I seen every goofy cat video, blog, news site… and it was a new feeling to watch the second click by as the days got longer and longer.

I know most of you are used to this reality and I’m not knocking it – but it was a strange place to find myself at this stage of my life.  The idea that people paid you to do nothing between shoots was really weird to me.  But the company was good and the coworkers were incredible and the budgets were large and the benefits were nice and the salary kept going up and I finally had a bit of retirement….and it all got kinda comfortable.

And you know, thank God.  Cause during this economy – it sucks to be without work.  And to be able to feed and support my family – I am very very thankful and please don’t take my blithering for anything but that.

But all good things must come to an end.

And it is with great joy and anxiety that I once again leave the nest and move to greener (hotter) pastures.

The downturn in the economy hit my company later than most.  They had been doing blindingly well – and then in the last year or so – not as well.  As a result – I got laid off.

Have you ever been laid off?  If not, I highly recommend it.

I know that to some of you – this is not funny.  It’s very serious. And that losing your job sucks.  And believe me – I am not being flippant or glib.  But all of us – especially the older we get – gravitate towards comfort and being comfortable.  We like to be where we know what’s what.  It’s just easier.  And we mold ourselves to that situation.  And it in turn molds us back.

I liked my job here.  I loved my co-workers.  I shot a lot – all over the world.  I got experience working in an office and being management and working on some of the biggest budgets of my life.  I was treated well and nicely paid.

But its time to go.

I had a nice run here.  4 good years.  And now its time for the next stage.

Los Angeles.

I am entirely looking forward to avoiding writing in a new town.

So that just happened.

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2 Responses to “Be Careful What You Wish For”

  1. kerry622 July 20, 2010 at 8:02 am #

    Good for you and your mindset. Hope your other projects go well. I too am finding as I get older that I am feeling the old pull of breaking out of the mold that I stuffed myself into and it no longer fits (You don’t mind when your visionary mind gets fat) and am now playing with a whole new set of rules for myself and love seeing others cast off not so great happenings and moving forward. Good Luck!

  2. Bill Harris July 20, 2010 at 9:43 am #

    I don’t have anything insightful to say, but I want to offer my best wishes and prayers for you and your amazing family.

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