There are so many people out there that say they are writers. So many who pretend to be writers. So many who try to be writers. So many who write, but are not writers. Sometimes I’m not sure where it is that I place myself.
But I do write. Not often enough. Not well enough. But I do write.
I have a script that has made the rounds. It started as something for me to direct. Went to a smaller producer who is now a really big producer. Was bounced around. Had two big name stars attached, was picked up by three different independent studios, was green lit – and then completely fell apart.
Twice it has been back in play.
Twice more it failed to go anywhere.
In between, I got agents for my writing. They are not with the top three agencies – but they are in the top 5. I also have a manager. I made the rounds with two weeks of meetings – and got to do numerous “takes” on different projects – but nothing took.
Now my script is – well – hot is not the word I would choose – maybe lukewarm is the better choice. One of the original actors is now represented by my agency and they have decided to package the project and get it out there again.
That started by us making a list of potential directors – myself NOT included. We picked three and sent it out -and got three rejections. Now we are making another list… but other things are going on behind the scenes. Machinations that I am not privy to – but am told they are in my best interests…. we shall see – but truthfully – I don’t feel much is done in my best interests…
There is so much wrangling that goes on to get a script to screen. Its silly. I spent two years of my life pushing this – at one point I raised 1 million dollars to direct it – but then we got big names and suddenly had a 10 million dollar film – with me producing. The money was there, the film was greenlit – and then…
So back to the workforce for me. Directing commercials. Working. Feeding my family. And trying to write something else.
And not doing so well.
I’m great at jumping in – horrible at finishing. I love to find myself 80+ pages into a script and realize I have no idea where I’m going. And no idea how to get out.
Now I’m in the middle of a thriller and am trying to extricate myself from the knots I’ve tied myself and my characters in. I always think – one day, I’ll learn how to get myself out of this – but it doesn’t seem like I do.
So there you go.
I’ve been making a living in this business for 20 years. I’ve shot over 100 hours of TV, over 100 commercials – and yet the only agent I get is for writing – and only one script of mine has ever gone out. And its been floating around for 4 years threatening to get made. When I stop complaining and look at how lucky I’ve been – I realize I’m quite blessed. But somehow – I still feel like the guy who hasn’t accomplished much and is on the edge of having a career.
If only I was able to sit down and funnel all that rage and bitterness and disappointment into a great and powerful script.
Instead – here I sit looking out the window.
So I ask why should you care?
Well – learn from me. From my mistakes. From the missteps I’ve taken. I pledge to give you nothing more than unbridled honesty and painful insight. I can show you the road not to take – the thing not to say – the way not to handle yourself.
I do bad so you don’t have to.
Sit back and watch me sabotage what little of a career I have. Its all fun and games while I get hurt.